Call up Lasalle-sia College of the fine arts yesterday and the admin just got the result, freaking happy thought i can enter le. Freaking Sad, Disappoint and piss their passing mark was like 5.5 and damn it i've got 5. Why they just can't let me enter with that freaking 0.5, feel like crying when i hang up the phone but end up i didn't, need to put on a strong appearance so people who saw me yesterday i've got a fake smile. Cry in my heart, drop a few tears till i sleep, damn disappointed with myself keep asking myself why can't i do well. WHY I JUST CAN'T pass that freaking test. I was damn confident with the paper that i can pass, ended up I fail. I FAIL with that FUCKING 0.5 mark which is damn important to me.
This morning woke up at 8 plus, daily routine, breakfast and left home. When to Housing board to get something for my dad. Walk from Central to Shss, while i was walking kept thinking of school. Why i didn't make it? Feel like standing in the middle of the road and just end there, but i didn't it's damn stupid to do that just for that school What about my future. Damn IT!
Reach band around 10.55am, walk to my section and play. Just wasn't myself today, seat there quietly. Talk abit of crap but just couldn't cheer up at all, When for lunch, try to laugh with the jokes shi li and louis have say and done. When back school for main band, did some warm up then play Orientales. Stuck in the beginning with some problem in other section, sat there quietly like torturing myself, tears like dropping down so decided to walk out of band room wash my face. Came out from the toilet and calm down, randy got of the toilet we both talk for awhile. He's asking why not go abroad and study, I wish too but what about my friends, alumni band and even money matters.
Went back to the band room and continue with Orientales. Seat there again and think should i go japan anot. I know Japan can de stress me, but i don't know lah, just complicated thinking flying around me. Whatever i just angry with myself for not passing my english test. Damn bloody disappointed with myself, how could i fail it, Why i fail. just just could accept that i need to walk out of the schooling life and enter Working enviourment.
Damn it, i'm damn stupid.
This morning woke up at 8 plus, daily routine, breakfast and left home. When to Housing board to get something for my dad. Walk from Central to Shss, while i was walking kept thinking of school. Why i didn't make it? Feel like standing in the middle of the road and just end there, but i didn't it's damn stupid to do that just for that school What about my future. Damn IT!
Reach band around 10.55am, walk to my section and play. Just wasn't myself today, seat there quietly. Talk abit of crap but just couldn't cheer up at all, When for lunch, try to laugh with the jokes shi li and louis have say and done. When back school for main band, did some warm up then play Orientales. Stuck in the beginning with some problem in other section, sat there quietly like torturing myself, tears like dropping down so decided to walk out of band room wash my face. Came out from the toilet and calm down, randy got of the toilet we both talk for awhile. He's asking why not go abroad and study, I wish too but what about my friends, alumni band and even money matters.
Went back to the band room and continue with Orientales. Seat there again and think should i go japan anot. I know Japan can de stress me, but i don't know lah, just complicated thinking flying around me. Whatever i just angry with myself for not passing my english test. Damn bloody disappointed with myself, how could i fail it, Why i fail. just just could accept that i need to walk out of the schooling life and enter Working enviourment.
Damn it, i'm damn stupid.