Bad mood yesterday night and A torturing day for me today...

First went to collect the scores and damn bloody fool they go blind up the entire score. STUPID...Then Having great pain somewhere above my chest. Fuck, it's damn pain till i have difficulties in breathing. Feeling unwell, bad mood to go for movie also. So the whole day just rot in the band room. Just sat on the floor beside the sofa, STONING. After awhile go play "Nottingham..." and a song share that same tune with "Po si mao". Haiz... then go back stoning again. Mr. Sim didn't get the SAF band information for me, Haiz..

Just couldn't make up my mind on which path should i go "Music"?, "Design"?, "SAF Band"?, "School"?. Ahhh i really don't know, too much rejection this year. Life really suck this way. Sometimes, negative thinking flood my mind tell me i'm usless and stuff. Friends won't be there to support me. I'm left all alone in a sad world. Oh well, no point saying lah, sometime it's just very hard for people to understand what's going on.

Anyway good news from mrs oh, Alumni band is starting next saturday.

Have band yesterday, my both arms are aching.

Well let talk about yesterday sec 1 practice, I was fucking piss off with that noise level and no respect for the person in front speaking. Worst is i even spotted trumpet section people fooling around like noboby business and there is a senior beside. Blasting note out spoilting the band music. Give them a scolding, but it's the first batch that i get so piss off. Sec 1 practices ended brought out the whole trumpet section, i didn't scold but just talking. Continuing asking the fellow why because he don't know how to apologise. End up the one who blast got 20 push up, the one who drop mouth piece got 5. The other arrogant want went back to band room and he still haven't apologise to Mr sim yet.

Have talk with upper sec and lower sec. Upper sec is just a few problem that is need to be solve, but still not sure if they will forget what i say. Lower sec 4 of the sec 1 unhappy with me due to i'm fierce, i ask them to serve punishment and i call name. okay well i apologise for calling names but punishment must be there. If i'm not fierce and i don't ask you do punishment you will definately climb up your senior head and fool around. If i'm and outsider i would rather stand aside and see how you all suffer and see how you all die, and laughing out loud like a evil bitch. But too bad lah, i've your senior. I can't see how you all suffer, i can't see how you all die i can't laugh out loud like a stupid bitch. I'm responsible for taking care of the band, i need to take action if the band is dying. If you don't like me that's too bad, what i'm doing is for the band good you thought i so free everyday practice go punish you all, I'm not insane okay. Fuck off no way...

The biggest regret in my life is not to study. Landed in Normal Technical stream in secondary school. I was thought that my life was useless, normal tech students are hopeless. Having bad students and some good students in my class. Thought i would ended up with bad influence with bad students but i didn't. Because i've choose a correct CCA which keep my day busy.

Band yesh it's band. From a stupid useless normal technical students who know nuts about music till today who i am. If not band, you might be seeing me entering in and out of girl's home and jail for doing stupid things. Smoking like nobody business. But well i contribute all my time and life in band for the past 4 years in secondary school and i've not regret it.

After 4 years of secondary school, i graduated and went to a higher level. I.T.E. The course i study Digital Media Design. Same goes to I.T.E with good and bad influence thingy going on. At first i was still witht he good influence people but things got mess up, got piss off with some freak and i join the bad company. Not bad company actually it's just that i felt school wasn't what i use to attend, i've learn to skip school to go shopping with other class people, in my class i even learn how to smoke. But well i'm not a heavy smoker and good news is i quit. Join volleyball as my CCA in ITE enjoy it but still hate that freaking teacher. Graduate with an ITE certificate last year.

This year lot of bad things chong after me, didn't get into a poly i want. I didn't get into Lasalle-sia because i fail that fucking test by 0.5 marks. Life turn miserable for me, but who know. But lucky band practice keep me away from problem. Keep me aways from stupid things like smoke and suicide.

And today I'm the founder of Saint Hilda's Alumni Winds. But who care if i'm the founder so what, i'm not using my name to look down on people unlike someone else. What i wants is to enjoy music, play with my friends. But till now, things still not going well in my life, a jobless, schooless freak is still rotting at home.

Ever since i return from japan, keep thinking about it. So much freedom and many things to explore. But too bad we are back to where to come from.

When back band today, part time percussionist/bass drumer of the day. Having fun with japanese tune and spongebob square bass drum part. Then think back to the past why i didn't join percussion because of my stupid friend. Oh well....

Now i'm having problem with my labtop and the japan trip video. Woah kao... Labtop play one song then song keep on jumping. Lag till hell, grandma also work faster then it. Japan video Siao liao lor, my teacher got problem transfering it into avi format and his com suddenly crash. OMG!!! why this thing happen to me sia. NOW NOW NOW!!! the only solution is to wait for my cousin to come over and lend me her camera. Oh god please make sure it works if not Mr sim gonna kill me lor. 100% chop.

Then this few days haiyo thinking of some many stuff, finding solution to get rid of the problem i have. Sian.. I'm getting older each day.

kkz.. tired le.. signing off update ya soon.